i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
