mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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