hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
