hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
