Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
