I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
