Cold hands, warm shart.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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