did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
