It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
