fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
