the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
