HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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