Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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