No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
