But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
