I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
