Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
