ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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