I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
