Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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