I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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