plz talk dirty to me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
