Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The struggles of a small town man whore
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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