You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
