Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Send help, water and tortillas.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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