If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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