Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
do nipples grow back?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
