normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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