he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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