He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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