she was so not down for the gang bang
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
