problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
