I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
