So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
