i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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