Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
