escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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