I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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