If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
