i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
