You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
