She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
