There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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