I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
