im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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