i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I love you. Go after that dick
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
