it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
