Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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