I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
