$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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