So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
