I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
