1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
zippers are such a cool invention
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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