It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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