there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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