eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
