shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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