Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
